Monday, September 14, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Disturbance In The Force

I've had my first restless night since being diagnosed with cancer over a month ago. Even the savage back pain that followed my recent surgery didn't cause me to loose appreciable sleep.

But I awoke from a nightmare at 2:30 this morning, the images from the dream already faded, but a feeling of dread still lingering.

Awakened suddenly and completely from a restless sleep that had been hard to come by in the first place.

Perhaps in was the lingering dull ache, still left over from the back pain, that disturbed my sleep. An ache not strong enough to require medication but annoying enough to wear on my nerves. And infuse my dreams with dread.

But more likely it was the unexpected phone call from the surgeon's office, early yesterday evening, telling me of still another appointment with still another oncologist, booked for me on May 7th. A distant two weeks in the future.

Linda had taken the phone call. Why two oncologists, she asked? The oncologist I'm seeing this Thursday is my radiation oncologist. The one on May 7th is a medical oncologist who will assess me for chemo.

Two oncologists? One of them not available for a further two weeks? Would they need to confer? Would this delay the onset of treatment? Delay it a further two weeks! Giving the cancer a full month to spread further?

Or would I begin an immediate course of radiation, alternating with chemo in two weeks time? Were the two appointments deliberately booked in a staged pattern set by some evidence based protocol?

Linda was inclined to think the latter. But I became fixated on the former. And went to bed with my mind in turmoil for the first time since this all began.

The word "delay" spinning round and round in my brain. Like a scythe in a nightmare.

Curled up beside me on the couch, Lindsay too has just begun to dream. Her nose twitches with remembered scents and her feet jerk in a running pattern. The tip of her tail brushes against my leg. In her dream she is likely off in the meadow chasing squirrels on a sunlit day and is a peace.

I write my blog and worry. And hope for more peaceful nights in the future.

Now Linda is up and wishing me a "good morning", a puzzled look in her sleepy eyes. Lindsay rolls off the couch and goes to greet her, tail wagging with pleasure.

Perhaps by the time the sun rises and chases away the gloom, I will be feeling better.

But for the first time since this began, I don't know.

Monday, April 20, 2009

International Turn Off Your TV Week

tv retro with a few pictures. it's a little bigger. Pictures, Images and Photos

It's International TV Turnoff Week, so just do it.

From April 20 to 26 join millions of people worldwide and switch off your set. Find a more rewarding and active life--at least for a week.

Last year 5 million people in the USA alone turned off the box and found that they had all sorts of extra time to do things they had been meaning to do. Like talk to their friends, read a book, take a walk...

Why not explore life without the tube?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Virtue Beats Hope When It Comes To Sustainable Living



Advocating a sustainable lifestyle as a way to avert a global climate disaster, or to give our kids hope for a decent future on this planet, turns out to be counter productive.

New Research suggests if you want people to live more sustainably, you have to give them reasons more immediate than "hope."

John Vucetich, assistant professor of animal ecology at Michigan Technological University, and Michael Nelson, associate professor of environmental ethics at Michigan State University say that trying to get people to live sustainably by giving them hope for a better future doesn't really work. We're told to stay hopeful, that what we do each day will make our future bright...but what people need to be told is that living sustainably is just plain old the right thing to do.

Hope may actually be counter-productive, Vucetich and Nelson suggest. "I have little reason to live sustainably if the only reason to do so is to hope for a sustainable future, because every other message I receive suggests that disaster is guaranteed," they explain.

These researchers suggest getting people to focus on positive human qualities that living sustainably represnts, like love, sharing, caring for others, will get more people interested in living sustainably. That's because even climate change nay-sayers are interested in doing the right thing. Essentially, make the most of the time we've got here on Earth.

"Instead of hope, we need to provide young people with reasons to live sustainably that are rational and effective," they say. "We need to lift up examples of sustainable living motivated by virtue more than by a dubious belief that such actions will avert environmental disaster."

Tuesday, February 3, 2009